Improve Forum Quality: Nerf Me

Summary: I call for the ability of people to post on the forums (including myself) to be balanced. Unfortunately CCP retaliated by making all my posts pink for the weekend.
Link: EVE Forums Link

Greetings, fellow forumgoers! I’d like to welcome you to this humble thread of mine. Please, sit down and help yourself to the pastries I’ve set out. Warm yourself by the fire. But don’t nod off on that comfy couch, for I have an important issue to discuss.

The EVE forums are an important component of this game. It provides an alternative source for help and advice, a political outlet for the various corporations and alliances, and generally a common channel that players can congregate and interact with. Forums, not just EVE’s but the concept in general, is an important part of using the internet, right?

Well, things are not currently so rosy in forum-land, it would appear. Lately moderation has been lacking (for whatever reason) and the result of this is that we have many posts that are, among other things:
1. Ranty
2. Tinfoilery
3. Make No Sense Whatsoever

This is a problem that needs to be solved if EVE is going to continue growing as a game and as a community. But what can we do to help facilitate this?

Equalizing Community Voice
Far too members of the community are using up far too much space on the forums. The top ten posters are probably responsible for 30-50% of all postings here on the forums, and that is a problem. To solve this problem we need to attack the source. Specifically, myself. It’s long past time that my posting style and frequency are appropriately balanced.

Since I began posting on the forums in 2005, I’ve created almost a hundred threads and created over 3 million characters of posting across close to four thousand posts (stats). People, this is too much. People, this is far too much as is healthy for this forum. Efforts must be taken to limit the impact and prevalence of myself and people like me on these forums. I am the most prevelant poster that I am aware of aside from Dark Shikari and a few others, and even DS has curtailed his posting of late.

But what to do?
There are several solutions that I have considered to prevent my posting as much. Here are a summary of them:

1. Whenever I create a topic on any EVE forum or more than twenty forum posts per hour, an e-mail is sent to my wife notifying her of this. A text message sent to her phone could be used if she is not at her computer.
2. For every forum post made, a certain amount of ISK is deducted from my wallet. This amount will vary depending on posting history and number of posts, and will be doubled for any post in CAOD. This should also help curb alt posts in all forums.
3. In order to post on the EVE forums, players must insert a USB-based IV into a major artery and their computers. This IV will inject a small amount of estrogen into the posters bloodstream if their number of posts per hour rises above a certain level. Not only will this limit my alt posts, but the effects will be less pronounced among women, encouraging them to participate in the community.
4. Whenever anyone makes a post, the EVE server inserts a part of their contact information/billing information into their signature. People who post too much will have an increased likelihood of contact details such as phone number, address, and credit card numbers being visible.
5. For every week someone goes without posting on the forums, they receive a coupon to a strip club, amusement park, or *** bar.
6. Each day, prevent one race from posting on the forums based on population. This will encourage players to play other races in addition to reducing forum posts by 20-50%.

I’m also open to any other suggestions. This is an important issue and I hope that we – as a community - can help solve it together. I need to be nerfed.