Introduction

My name is Tarminic. I play a game called EVE Online, but due to several circumstances recently I haven't been able to spend as much time in the game as I would like to. Considering that I usually pay for my account through Game Time Codes, which I purchase with in-game money, this represents a problem when combined with my continued state of financial insecurity. As a result of this, I found myself in need of money but incapable of earning it through my standard forms of gameplay. How am I to sustain my joyous online gaming experience?

Enter the EVE Online forums, where I am apparently fairly well known. The forums, like any online medium, are filled with dribble and punctuated by a few shining beacons of intellect. But how could I use this to generate income, you ask? Simple!

I have hatched a plan. This plan is to sustain earn my in-game income using my unusually high Verbal IQ in the most inane, unproductive manner possible - I will whine.

To be more specific, I will have clients pay me to protest against certain individuals/game mechanics/groups. The Specifics:

Rules:

May Be Posted in any Forum

Must obey the rules of whatever forum in which it is posted

Must not contain any content that will get me warned or banned

The Subject must be approved first; I have the right to deny a whine I find unsuitable

Must be EVE Related

No personal attacks except in good humor

Pricing:

10 Million ISK base price (up to 4000 characters)

10 Million ISK for each additional 4000 characters

50% Surcharge for posting in CAOD (to recoup brain bleach costs)

10% Surcharge for pink text

I've completed over 15 whines so far and made over 250 million ISK, enough to sustain my gaming for some time. I'll post my already completed whines here and will update it as I write new ones. Let the games begin!