No EVE From Work? Boo!

Summary: CCP should facilitate playing EVE from work through hackers and ninjas.
Link: EVE Forums Link

Greetings, fellow forumgoers. I come here to discuss an important issue:
Many of us take access to the EVE servers for granted, because we generally play from the comfort of our own homes or the occasional computer lab/cyber-cafe. But there are also a great number of loyal EVE subscribers who cannot play a significant portion of their day due to an unfortunate circumstance - jobs. Unfortunately, there are few ways around these jobs for those of us over 18, which the majority of EVE's subscriber base is. Sure one can live in one's parent's basement, but that gets old and often has negative social consequences. And why should we? According to EVE's EULA, we pay our monthly fees to have access to the server, but if work interferes with this we are not getting what we paid for! Let's discuss this issue in more depth, shall we?

There are several reasons why one wouldn't be able to play EVE at work, the first of which is access. Some jobs, strangely enough, don't involve computers, and while this is unfortunate CCP can not be held responsible for providing computers, as doing so for even a small portion of the userbase would surely financially difficult, if not impossible. For those who do have computers and internet access, however, the argument is more difficult to support in favor of our good ole' Icelandic buddies.

Some of us at work don't have administrative access to our very own computers, and while this is a pain it shouldn't be our responsibility to obtain the right to install EVE's client, period. There are several elegent solutions to this problem, some of which have been discussed before, some of which have not:

1. Play EVE from a flash drive - This is entirely possible, but hinges on the computer's ability to run eve and the loyal player base purchasing a USB drive of the acceptable size, which is unreasonable. As I've stated before we already pay monthly to access EVE, we should not be expected to shell out more cash for this right.
2. Hack the password - While a less financially-intense method, many of EVE's users aren't especially good at hacking, and the repercussions if and when said hackers are caught can outweigh the benefits, depending on your devotion to internet spaceships

Now, assuming you can use some method (listed here or otherwise) to gain administrator access to the computer, you then run into the problem of ports, specifically how pesky firewalls, switches, and routers can block certain programs from transmitting or receiving information. Though any organization blocking EVE's ports is surely evil in nature, a man has to feed his family and as such cannot be fully expected to avoid employment at such agencies. Circumventing this method requires either a port forwarding application or hacking one's way into the network systems to open the EVE port back up. As I have stated previously the skill and legal questionability of this method is prohibitive for most eve players.

Solving these two problems is fairly simple - CCP needs to hire a team of hackers to make sure their players are capable of connecting to their servers anywhere, anytime (except for downtime of course). They could be contacted through the EVE-Online website or several other generic websites that would not officially be affiliated with EVE. This team could alleviate the problems of administrative access and port blocking without too much effort, and should they get caught they'll be killed so CCP cannot be implicated.

Assuming the intrepid subscriber has managed these two issues, there is a third at hand - managers. They might work in a different part of the country, but they may also frequent our cubicles, rooms, offices, or wherever we may work, and they frown upon their employees doing things that aren't productive for the man. Not all users are affected by this problem, but many are so it cannot be overlooked. One can minimize EVE, yes, but this often takes several seconds so a crafty manager may surprise us in the middle of an important mission, PvP action, or mining. Being caught isn't an acceptable option since this often results in being relieved of one's job, punishment, or tighter restrictions on computer usage making EVE all but impossible to play. Unfortunately performing the assassination of managers everywhere is unrealistic considering the number of combat-ready citizens and bullets in Iceland, so CCP cannot solve this problem. But how to hide from managers, you ask? Simple.

CCP - Create a Web-based version of EVE online Using Javascript

Take a look at Google Maps for confirmation - Javascript is here, it's here to stay, and it's definitely the future. Continually, the differences between desktop and web-based applications has grown smaller over time, and soon they'll disappear altogether. Why shouldn't CCP be at the forefront of this trend? But why Javascript and not another technology like Flash? Simple:
1. Simple, easy to learn syntax
2. Easily Expandable
3. Near-Universal browser support
4. Small program size

Coding a lite eve client entirely in Javascript would be incredibly useful and not especially difficult either. This version could be two-dimensional, borrowing from early spaced-based games in it's layout and representation of 3D space, and contain all the useful functions needed in EVE: overview, chat, market, and map. Modern computers are capable of handling a huge amount of browser overhead (any capable of playing EVE anyway) so the lack of efficiency in Javascript coding isn't really an issue here, and CCP already has a dedicated team of Python developers. Pythons is very similar to Javascript anyway, so the jump should be done without the need for much training. You know what they say, the best way to learn a language is to live it!

But we shouldn't stop at a simple client, oh no, we can do much better. EVE STRATEGIC COMMAND. An enhanced version of the Javascript client, this powerful piece of spaghetti code will manage all the functions of corporations and alliances that the lite client cannot. This could be used to FC or manage corporate affairs through an easy-to-use web interface, and it will flag any manager-type EVE players as subscribers so they won't be assassinated (when CCP can afford the ninjas).

If all this ends up being a bit too much for the EVE development team, there is an alternate answer that is just as easy - HIRE GOOGLE. Google already is the pwnsauce in pretty much everything, and I'd be willing to bet that for a small fee they'd be able to whip up an EVE Javascript client for realz. In addition, they'd sympathize with CCP's plight regarding server design and lag, since its something they must take into account when designing their networks, search engine, and various products. This will also have the effect of making Microsoft pay attention to CCP since they're using the services of a competator, resulting in better database and SQL Server support. It's a win, win, win situation!

All my reasoning is completely valid, and I don't think I've missed out on anything. CCP, let us play EVE from work!